Harry Potter And The Secret of Azelia
by Inspiration
Summary: What if you had a picture of your long dead mother...What if a girl moved in next door that looked exactly like that picture? What if you were Harry Potter? What would YOU do? SOON TO BE HHr UPDATE: WHOO HOOO! CH. 9 IS FINALLY HERE! CH. 10 IS ON ITS WAY!
1. Privit Drive? What Kind of Name Is That?

Disclaimers: We own NOTHING except Azelia, the new WWWs, and the plot!

**Chapter 1: Privit Drive? What kind of name is that?**

**Written by The Loards **

Azelia watched the houses, trees, and cars fly by outside her window as she and her parents traveled along the road in a plain old muggle car. Her mother and father had already seen the house they were moving into, but she hadn't yet. All Azelia could think about were the people and places she had left behind.  
  
Azelia hadn't wanted to move away from her perfect life and comfortable home in southern France, but she wasn't given a choice. She had been one of the five students from her school accepted into the Cross-Nations Connection program that had been started to introduce the young wizards and witches to their peers from other countries.  
  
The little lump in her throat grew and as the car turned on to a small, picture perfect street, and into the driveway of a picture perfect house in your average picture perfect neighborhood. The number six shining like it had just been polished on the post of the freshly painted white picket fence. It looked more like a post card, or an advertisement than their cozy house in France. Everything appeared perfectly normal as Azelia and her family stepped out of the car; it always did at Privit Drive.  
  


Harry was up in his room, pretending he didn't exist—yet again. There were new neighbors supposedly moving into old Mrs. Figg's house today. Harry didn't know why they had chosen her house, because according to the rumors he heard (via his aunt) they were richer than the Dursleys could ever hope to be. Aunt Petunia hadn't put it quite that way, but what she meant was clear. But worse than being rich, they had a daughter, a daughter who was probably just as spoiled and selfish as Dudley. After all, she _was_ French. All Harry could think about was the way those bloody Buebaxtons had dressed and acted.

Harry was locked in his room because, as usual, the Dursleys wanted to impress these people, and so, of course, they didn't want Harry and his "abnormalities" anywhere around them; not that Harry particularly wanted to be there.

Harry's heart clenched as he remembered Ron, Hermione, and his life at Hogwarts. He still had two more weeks to go before he got to see them again.

In a fit of nostalgia Harry reached down and pried up the loose floorboard below his bed. Inside were some schoolbooks, loose parchment, a few extra quills and bottles of ink, old Hogsmeade gifts, and the only birthday cards he had ever received, wrapped up in an old pillowcase. Harry lifted this out and placed it on his bed. Underneath it was one of his few treasures, and one of the only things the Dursleys didn't know about: the photo album Hagrid had given to Harry after his first year at Hogwarts. He opened it and gazed at the images of his mother and father, waving and smiling at him from every page.

Harry moved to the window so that he could see their faces better. The light bulb had burned out weeks ago, but the Dursleys refused to fix it.

As Harry thought back on all the he could remember of his parents, he vaguely heard Uncle Vernon's loud voice booming outside; the new neighbors must have gotten here.

Something made Harry look away from the photo album in his lap, and at the small stylish car that was just pulling into number six's driveway outside. The work crew had been working all summer fixing up the house, cleaning it up, and repainting and carpeting everything. The week before, the moving van had arrived, and the neighbors, led by Petunia, had watched carefully as each expensive piece of furniture, in the latest styles and colors, was carried out of the truck and into the mysterious house. The only thing now missing was the tenants.

The driver's door opened and out stepped a footman who went to go open the adjacent door, and the lady of the house was helped out of the car, impeccably dressed. At the same time the passenger side doors opened and out stepped the perfect French gentleman and a quiet beautiful girl who looked to be about fifteen. The girl outside sighed as she gracefully stepped from the family car. Even in her current rumpled state, she looked simply stunning. But that was not why Harry was staring at her, out of the window. Her reddish-brown hair was currently pulled into a ponytail with a few wavy strands falling into her face. She had a nose that was the perfect size for her face with a sprinkle of freckles and gorgeous green, familiar, eyes that seemed to glow.

****

As Azelia's mother stepped from the car she took one look at the house and began to babble in French, and if you didn't know the language you might think she was just exclaiming how charming and quaint the family's new house was.

#Oh, Albert, its simply hideous! I don't understand how the English can stand to live in such boxy places. Well, lets go be society people and greet these crazy neighbors cheerfully.#

#But Francesca, I would really rather get inside so I can relax from that horrible drive.#

#No, Albert, we have to put on a show for them. We must be the perfect rich family from France, or they'll never leave us alone. And yes, you must come too Azelia.#

#But Mama!#

#No buts!#

Azelia was disgusted. The new neighbors were just as she had expected: fat snobby, and trying to impress them. They _were_ English, who knew how many gallons of tea they drank _a day!_ Azelia made a promise to herself: She would never _ever_ drink tea again.

Sickened by having to look at their son Azelia looked up at their new neighbor's house. A dark form in one of he upper windows caught her eye. Wanting to look at anything BUT this blob of fat, she watched it idly, until she realized what she was staring at. It was a boy with untidy black hair and soft green eyes. Her first thought was that he was lucky, he didn't have to be out here in the sun talking to these people, but then she realized exactly _why_ she was staring so hard at this boy: his eyes. They were green. They weren't normal green eyes though, they were a deep green; eyes just like hers. He was staring at Azelia too, and his eyes were confused. He looked down at something in his lap, and then up at Azelia again. The confusion increased.

She couldn't bear those green eyes, so like the eyes Azelia saw every time she looked in the mirror, so she turned away and brought herself back to what her mother was saying.

"...Have a lot to unpack, so we better get going. It was nice meeting you. Goodbye." Azelia's mother didn't wait for an answer; she herded her husband and daughter into their new house.

****

Harry drifted through the rest of the day in a daze. The same thoughts kept running through his head.

_ Who is she? Why does she look so much like the picture?_

Harry had looked up just in time to see the girl step out of the car. At the moment he had been looking at the picture of his mother and father on their wedding day. And _that girl _had looked exactly like her. She had the same red hair and smiling face, and the same eyes. She had the same eyes that Harry had; the same ones that everyone told him were 'your mother's eyes.'

It scared Harry, and he would have written a letter to Ron or Hermione but Hedwig was off delivering a letter to Sirius, and so probably wouldn't be back until term started. _Two more weeks of torture. Oh bloody...  
_

_  
_

****

..._Joy_

The Dursleys, had invited the LeMonde family to dinner, and Azelia HAD to go. The family had already come up with excuses for the past three nights, and now had run out.

Only a tiny particle of Azelia really wanted to go: and that particle had nothing to do with the Dursleys. It had to do with the green-eyed boy. Somehow, for some reason, he was different from _them._

At 6:30 sharp they arrived at the door dressed in the best Français style. _I still like the idea Dad had, _Azelia thought to herself_, We should've worn our trashiest clothes, and maybe they would've never talked to us again, fat snobby Englishmen. Not that I have any problem with the English, just the Dursleys._ Horse Face opened the door and ushered us inside to a dinner neither family would ever forget.

End of Chapter 1: Privit Drive? What kind of name is that?

A's/N: To read and understand our stories it helps to understand how we annotate things:  
anything inside ## is in French (we thought about really putting it in French but we didn't think you would appreciate it if we wrote a story that you couldn't understand), L/I's are "Loardly Interruptions," LoL, and they're generally worth reading! Hope you like the first chapter, we will be writing more, soon.

Happy Reading!

the Loards


	2. The REAL Chapter Two

Disclaimer: We own NOTHING except Azelia and her family, the new WWWs, and the plot!

A's/N: for any of you who didn't start the book with us, we had a bit of trouble writing our chapter two, so we moved on to chapter 3 hoping to get some ideas. Well, the ideas didn't come, and our reviewers were beginning to drift away, so we decided to go ahead and upload chapter 3, but call it chapter two. Well, finally we have a REAL chapter two, and here it is.

Happy Reading!

the Loards

**Chapter 2: The REAL Chapter Two**

**Written by The Loards**

Azelia and her family were pushed into a living room so white and fancy Azelia was afraid to touch anything, incase she left a smudge.

"Oh do sit down dears." Said the horse-faced lady in a horrid pink cocktail dress, who was obviously Mrs. Dursley. "Dinner will be served in just a few moments. This is my dear son Duddykins. Why don't you two get acquainted? It will be nice to have such a sweet girl like yourself next door." _Duddykins? These English people. What kind of name is that?_

Azelia looked to where the lady was gesturing and saw the grossest, fattest, ugliest creature _I cant even call him human! _ She had ever seen. And his normally pale looking cheeks were as red as turnips. _Oh, dammit, I knew I shouldn't have worn such a "form-fitting" dress._

"Well, hello, Duddykins." The blush grew even redder.

"Well, actually its Dudley, Mother just likes to call me that."

"Oh. I'm sorry." Azelia thought Dudley was almost as bad as 'Duddykins.' At least his name fit his obvious cough cough _intelligence_.

"Would you like me to show you the house?" A bit of drool dribbled out of his mouth. _GROSS!_

"Sure." _Merlin! I'll go through this, but only so I can see if that black-haired boy is here, and maybe, just hopefully, get a chance to talk to him._

"OK." He said, wiping the drool off of his lower lip, still staring at Azelia's chest. "This is the living room. The couch is real bleached leather, and the rug is made of pure silk threads hand woven and dyed. Go ahead, and sit on it, I'm sure you've never sat on anything so fine!" And he pushed Azelia down onto the ugliest couch she had ever seen. Though it looked simply charming as soon as Dudley squeezed himself down next to her, pushing her up against the arm. He even put his hand on her leg!

Azelia stood up quickly. "Its simply divine! How would you say... _Magnificent!_ What about the rest of the house?"

"Well, that is a true 18th century, hand made Indian-mahogany cabinet with our classical ivory statue collection..." _Those poor elephants! _Azelia put up with this for an hour or so, though it felt like years. She could barely fit a word in with his rambling on about how rich they were, and how beautiful he thought she looked, but at least he hadn't tried to touch her again. _Yuck!_

The only interesting part was when the two were upstairs. There was one room that Azelia didn't have to tour through and hear how expensive everything was. When she asked all he said was "Oh, that's just a spare room, there's nothing in it." But through the door Azelia could hear someone moving around, and sounds as if that same someone was turning the pages of a book. _Suuuurrrre it's just a spare room... _When she thought back to the day when they had moved here, Azelia pictured the window she had seen the boy's face in, and if she remembered correctly, it would be about where this room was. It made her wonder.

The talk at dinner was boring enough, though the food was not so bad. _If this lady isn't nice or modest or has any fashion sense at all, at least she can cook! Though she seems like the kind of person who wouldn't dirty her hands with it. I wonder..._

When Mrs. Dursley took a breath, and was about to start rattling on again Azelia took a chance and asked a question.

"On the day that I met you wonderful people, I saw this boy in an upper window of the house. It astonished me so much I couldn't say anything at the time. I would hope there are no horrible burglars in this neighborhood," Azelia paused, and when she saw nothing more than anger on either face she continued. "Or does he by some chance live here?"

"Oh, he's nobody. He's just a teenage delinquent that we have offered to watch over during the summer, a service to the community. He's not supposed to have any outside contact, so don't think of him at all, just ignore him."

"Yes, he's just a nobody, Zellie Dear. No one cares about him." _Great, now this fat hunk of larvae thinks he can call me 'dear'! _ Azelia had had enough, and decided to end it right there.

She looked straight at him, and said "Sorry, I don't know how to say this tactfully in English, but I'm sure you'll understand if I tell you I'm taken." She wasn't really, but, technically she hadn't lied, she hadn't _said_ she _was_ taken, and it might save her life for the rest of the summer.

Dudley blushed red-hot, his parents looked horrified, and Azelia's were trying their best not to laugh. Azelia herself just smiled serenely.

Harry was stuck in his room, again. The LeMonde family from next door was coming over for dinner, and again, Harry of course wasn't going to be seen, so he couldn't embarrass the Dursleys.

Harry heard Dudley came up here once, showing Her around. Harry heard the girl ask what was in his room, but was astonished when Dudley was actually creative enough to lie about it.

Harry was getting pretty bored in his room, so when they were all down at dinner, he sneaked past the dining room, and slipped outside to lie on the lawn, and get some fresh air. The early night was cool with a slight breeze and he was able to just relax for the first time in a long time. It was a beautiful night. He could see all the stars, and even pick out some constellations he knew from astronomy.

Eventually the cool air and the peaceful sounds put Harry into a kind of half-sleep, until the sharp sound of the front door opening woke him. _I can't be seen!_ _They'll kill me._ Harry crouched in the grass, and darted towards the nearest bush just in time to see the LeMonde family walk down the path to the sidewalk.

"Bye!" The whole Dursley family chorused, standing at the door.

But none of them turned around, except the girl, and she didn't even glance at them, she was looking at the bush that was just barely hiding Harry behind it.

Their eyes met for the second time, and Harry knew that he had to talk to this girl. Somehow someway.

The rest of dinner was torture, but Azelia got through it eventually. Dudley hadn't stopped staring at her, or drooling, but at least she didn't have to be called 'Zellie Dear' anymore.

Finally Azelia's dad came up with a good enough excuse for them to leave, and so they did.

It wasn't until she was halfway down the driveway that Azelia heard the rustle of leaves brushing together. At first she thought it was wind, but then realized that she didn't feel any wind, and the trees weren't moving, so she turned around in curiosity. It was _him_, hiding behind a bush. Azelia didn't know why he was there. All she knew is that she HAD to find a way to talk to him. Somehow, someway.

The next few days passed pretty much in a blur as Azelia and her parents rearranged furniture, and painted, and hung curtains and unpacked boxes. Eventually everything was perfect, and the family could finally relax.

Azelia had begun to develop an interest in herbology, and one afternoon she was just coming in from working in her new garden out back when her parents called her into the living room.

As soon as Azelia walked in the door, she knew something was up. Her parents looked at each other and sat down, on opposite ends of the couch.

#Azelia, honey, we need to talk to you about something.#

#Azelia was a bit confused, she didn't _think_ she had done anything wrong, but her father almost never used that phrase. Ok, what?#

#Well, ah, um. Mom obviously didn't know how to start. Honey, we want you to know why exactly we requested _you _for the CNC transfer#

Suddenly Azelia forgot she was sweaty and dirty, she forgot the dirt on her clothing and the trowel in her hand, all she could think was why in the world would her parents want to move her away from her happy life. #What do you mean you requested me?!? You actually wanted me to leave my school and my friends and come live in _England?!?!?!? _But, why?#

#Oh, honey, no! Well, see we're not exactly your real parents, and we thought it's time for you to know that.#

#We adopted you from an orphanage here in England. We don't know who your real parents are. The only clue to your past that we have is this... The adoption agency found it just a few months ago, and mailed it to us. She held up a fragile looking gold necklace with a small glass ball as a charm. And, well, we thought that it would be the time for you, and us, to come back.#

Azelia gasped, and an image flashed in front of her eyes. Before she could realize what she was seeing it was gone. After a few seconds, she didn't even remember that it had happened, but all sadness and anger at her 'parents' was gone. #Wow. It's beautiful. But don't the orphanages keep track of where their kids come from?#

#Yes, most of the time they do. her Dad agreed. But you were brought in by a muggle who saved you from a burning house, with this necklace grasped in your little hand. The chain had been broken, as if you had pulled it off of your mother's neck. That's all we know.#

#You aren't angry that we've kept it from you so long?# Mom almost looked sad. They apparently thought this would come as more of a shock than it did.

#Of course I'm not! I don't really care that I don't know who my REAL parents are. You guys have been my parents from the heart, no matter how cliché that sounds, and that's all that really matters to me. But one question... How did you know I was going to grow up to be a witch?#

#Well...that was a stroke of luck. We just wanted a daughter, since your mother couldn't have any, and we would take any baby, witch or not. When we got to your orphanage, the lady who owned it almost wanted to get rid of you because you caused so much trouble.#

#They thought you were a devil child, and were about to bring in a priest to "exorcise" the demon in you because whenever you had a tantrum things started flying around the room. You were a quite powerful little baby.#

#Oh yes, I'm sure I can imagine. So is my birthday really December 14?#

#Who knows, it might be. But it probably isn't. We have no idea, we just chose that date because it was the day we adopted you. We do know you are 14 years old though, the orphanage kept track of that much at least. You were only a few hours old when you were brought to the agency, so it wasn't too hard to keep track.#

#Well, I'm gross, I really need a shower, but thanks for telling me this guys. It is nice to know.#

#Are you sure you're okay with it? Her father still looked a little worried.#

#Of course! I had wondered how I got this truly Irish hair when my 'ancestors' on both sides had been French for generations, but now that's solved.#

#Well glad we could help out.# and her mother laughed and finally relaxed. #Now go get that shower, trust us, you need it!#

#Thanks, mama, I feel so loved!#

End of Chapter 2: The REAL Chapter Two

A/N: yeah, we FINALLY got this chapter out. I hope it helps you understand some of what is happening in the next few chapters.

Happy Reading!

Zoé and the Loards


	3. Maybe Introducing the Weasley Twins to M

Disclaimer: We own NOTHING except Azelia, the new WWWs, and the plot!

**Chapter 3: Maybe Introducing The Weasleys to Martians Wasn't Such A Good Idea.**

Written by The Loards 

Harry was disappointed because there was nowhere he could go this summer, since Ron was visiting some relatives in America. He was sending many letters of course, and had even gotten Harry a present: A book on all the world famous quidditch players that ever existed.

Hermione's present was interesting, and he couldn't figure out quite what it was, or what to do with it until he opened her card. She had sent him a picture frame. An empty picture frame. As it turns out, this was just a usual picture frame she'd bought at a muggle store, but she had bespelled it so that it worked kind of like a wizarding telephone.

..._You just say the name of the person you want to speak to, and if they are anywhere near their photophone _(Hermione's name for the contraption)_ you can see and hear them as you talk to them. You can even change your ring to anything you want, just say "Change ring to..." and say anything you want, it will record your voice, and anytime someone is trying to talk to you it will make that noise..._

Harry found this quite interesting, and so of course he had to try it out. He picked up the frame and said clearly "I want to speak to Hermione Granger" The glass in the frame swirled as if you were trying to see through a fog, and then it cleared and Hermione's face was looking out at him.

"Harry! You got my present! I'm so happy the photophone's worked out! Aren't they wonderful? I sent one to Ron too, even though it's not his birthday. I figured they would be perfect to talk to each other over the summer, your aunt and uncle being what they are."

"Yes. And it is wonderful! This is a WONDERFUL birthday present. I'm so happy to talk to you. How are you?"

"I'm fine, though we're about to go out to dinner, so can I 'call' you later? I just wanted to be sure you're all right. The Dursley's aren't being too mean are they?"

"Just the usual...have fun at dinner. Bye"

"I will," and then Hermione opened her mouth as if she was going to say something, but then shut it again, and blushed. "Well, bye."

Harry wished she could have talked longer. It was nice just to see a friendly face.

Oh well, he could talk to Ron.

"I wish to speak to Ron Weasley." The mist came again, but this time it took longer. Eventually the mist turned blue, and a voice like the one you hear on airplanes that says 'please put your seats in their full and upright places' said "I'm sorry, he isn't answering his photophone right now, goodbye." And the glass went back to normal.

_ Oh, well _ Harry thought _At least I tried _

The most interesting package came two days later and was most certainly NOT a birthday present. It was from Fred and George Weasley and contained many of the twins' new _experiments._ He was informed that he was expected to keep them safe and to bring them to Kings Cross Station on September 1st, and that they had be carefully counted and recorded, and if even one of them was missing, something unusual might happen at the sorting feast, and though Harry was interested, he wasn't _that_ curious.

The rest of the summer passed in a flash for Harry and Azelia. And though they rarely made eye contact, they watched each other.

Harry would get glimpses of her when he was working in the garden, or locked in his room.

And she watched sadly from her window as he was worked till he was half-dead.

And they both wondered. The wondered about the likeness of their eyes, wondered if he other one noticed, and wondered if the other one wondered too.

Harry's only respite from the hard life with the Dursley's, were the few minuets he spent talking to Hermione, and sometimes Ron, when he was around, but mostly he was out exploring the US.

August came and went and finally it was September. Harry and Azelia were both pleased to see the last of the Dursleys. And they both anticipated the coming of that happy day, when they got to leave the Dursleys behind for the WHOLE school year.

Finally September 1st was here. As usual the Dursleys gave reasons why they HAD to go into London anyway, Harry knew that they just wanted to get rid of him.

They were also afraid that he would tell Sirius and he would come and turn them all into frogs, A_lthough I don't know why they would be scared of the improvement... _

This year the excuse was that they 'needed' to go shopping for Dudley's 'ball' at his school. It was just going to be like a prom (except that they were too good to call it that) and Dudley wanted to impress his girlfriend. _Personally I think he's trying to make Azelia jealous, but who would want him?? _ Dudley _said _he had finally gotten over 'crush' on Azelia. All Harry heard for weeks before was 'Azelia said this' and 'Azelia said that.' It almost made him wish he _were_ locked in his room. Then he finally figured out that Azelia was the girl next door who had just moved in.

But finally Harry was leaving all this behind. He would be able to get back into his real life. He would finally be able to talk to Ron and Hermione, and hopefully Hedwig would get back with a letter from Sirius.

_ I can't wait.  
_

__

Azelia was nervous. She was going to her new school today. Luckily she wouldn't have to ride the school train. Mom and Dad wanted to be with her for the first day, and they didn't want to ride the train; so she got to arrive in style.

**L/I: Zoe: Style? Gosh, I wish my parents had style...**

**Brody: Tell me about it.**

Azelia and her parents were going to ride broomsticks _because our new house STILL isn't hooked up to the floo powder system, there is some problem with all kinds of technical details that none of us understand. Dad suspects it's just their excuse for forgetting... I wouldn't be surprised, damn englishmen _to Hogsmead, where her mom and dad and get their own private horseless carriage to the school. Once they get there the whole family would go in for a meeting with the Headmaster, Albus Dumbledore. Then Azelia would find out which dorm _:I think they call them houses, or something:_ she would sleep in, and then on to the feast.

_ But what if no one there likes me, or can understand my accent?_

_ I know, I know, "If what-ifs were, no one would say 'what if...'" _**L/I: ;-) **

_ Still...  
_

****

Harry arrived at Kings Cross Station on time, for the first time in his life, and went off to get his luggage loaded (like usual, in the last car) and waited for Ron and Hermione.

Hermione got there a few minuets later, while Harry was trying to arrange Hedwig's empty cage to it wouldn't rattle around during the ride.

"Hey Hermione. Have you seen Ron?"

"Yes. I passed his family outside the barrier. Apparently George's trunk burst open and a lot of filibusters fireworks blasted off. He might be a while, the muggles were giving them a hard time and making a big scene."

"Oh. Poor Ron. He better hurry, or he'll be left behind. The train won't delay just for him"

Seconds before the train was going to leave, Ron burst in, panting form the exertion of pulling his trunk.

"Oh good, you're here. We thought the train was going to leave without you."

"We had a bit of...trouble..." and Hermione smirked as Ron told the whole story.

****

Azelia and her parents drove to the country and picked an isolated hill to practice riding the broomsticks on.

Her dad preformed this handy little charm that made muggles look away at something else as soon as they came into view, and then they climbed on and tried to fly.

Azelia had a little trouble steering at first, but eventually got the hang of it, and by the time her mom had apparated back to them (after driving the car home) she was having fun with it.

#Good, you're back mom. Now we're ready to go!#

#Not quite honey. You don't want to fly _all_ the way to Hogsmede. Driving is one thing, _flying_ is another. # Dad then took out his wand, pointed it at Azelia's broom and yelled "_ACCELERI!!!" _# That will make the ground travel twice as fast below you, but you wont be going any faster, and so you wont risk loosing control of the broom He then did the same to his and mom's brooms and they got on their way.#

****

A few minuets after the train started rolling, Fred and George appeared...out of thin air.

"TA DA!!!!!!!!!!"

"What?!?" Harry, Hermione and Ron stammered. "How did you learn to apparate?"

"We didn't apparate. Its just a handy little piece of candy we invented, invisible ice caps." Fred took the liberty of informing the still stunned fifth years.

"Speaking of candy..." George prompted, and Ron and Harry began digging through their trunks, not wanting to turn into a slug, or something equally delightful.

"What is he talking about? What are you two doing?" Hermione, the ever curious asked, with the shrill tone to her voice that said 'I know you two are doing something to break rules and I don't like it!'

"Well, Fred and George needed some help..." Harry said, trying not to give too much away.

"Doing _what_?"

"Well, we figured that if something were to happen--"

"And something DID!" Fred interrupted George.

"Shut-up, you ass. Anyway, if something were to happen, and if Mom found out what was in our trunks, we had better be prepared." And he grinned as Ron and Harry loaded their laps full with the brightly wrapped bars and packets that carried the WWW logo.

"YOU HELPED THEM SMUGGLE WEASLEY WIZARDING WHEASES INTO THE SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Hermione was outraged. "NOW I WONT BE ABLE TO EAT FOR FEAR OF TURING INTO A FROG OR--OR SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUSTING!! Or worse, **BECOMING A SNAPE LOVER**!!!!" **L/I: LIKE MALFOY!!! ; ) **

"Actually no, we haven't figured out the frogs yet, so you don't have to worry. Our favorite one this year is the beetle juice, flavored and colored like pumpkin juice of course." That was the first time in his life that Harry had ever seen Hermione close to fainting.

"..192...193...194. Good job. All of it seems to be here. Now as a reward you get to choose one to try. You can eat them here, instead of in front of the entire school."

"WHAT!" Harry and Ron screamed. Then he remembered the Invisible Ice Caps. _Hmm... They sound interesting, and handy. _

"Ooooooook. I guess I'd rather do it here." Harry gave in. "I want to try one of the Invisible Ice Caps."

"Nope. Sorry. Those are for select purposes." It wasn't too hard to guess what those 'select' purposes were.

"Dammit. Ok, I guess I'll go for the Parrot Parsley." This one interested Harry. It looked exactly like parsley and so could be mixed into any food without the eater noticing anything was different. Until they turned into a parrot that is.

Ron chose one of the brightly wrapped packages off the floor. "I'd like to try the Mars Bar." These were fashioned after the muggle candy, but had some interesting effects on the eater, as you probably guessed. Ron had apparently thought along the same lines Harry had. There were only 5 people there; there were hundreds at school.

Ron and Harry had each picked up their respective packages when the door burst open and three familiar, and not all delightful figures walked in.

"I see you guys are having a party in here." Draco Malfoy sneered at them all, with his two incredibly stupid bodyguards lurking behind him. "And you didn't invite us."

"Bug off, Malfoy." Came the usual response from Ron.

"Not until I've had some candy." Malfoy then yanked the half unwrapped Mars Bar out of Ron's hands and bit into it before anyone could warn him, not that anyone would of course. "Not bad, --"

_--!!BANG!!—_

Abruptly there was a very startled green alien standing where Malfoy had been, but of course no one could forget the two very scared bodyguards running as fast as their fat little legs could carry them, a wet patch on their trousers growing as they ran...

End of Chapter 3: Maybe Introducing The Weasleys to Martians Wasn't Such A Good Idea.

A/N: I know it took us FOREVER to get this chapter out, but we ran into some difficulties. This was originally going to be the third chapter, but we were having problems with ch. 2, and went on ahead in uploading this one. We might finish writing the REAL ch. 2 eventually, and bump this one up to 3, so check back every once in a while...

And remember.....REVIEW PLEASE...and include any ideas for more WWW!!!

How did you guys like the mars bars? Funky, eh?

Happy Reading!

Zoé and the Loards


	4. Hogwarts' New Additions

Disclaimer: We own NOTHING except Azelia, the new WWWs, and the plot!

A/N: This chapter was written with help from Brody since Monica didn't feel like writing and Zoé got mad at her and asked for help from Brody.

Chapter 4: Hogwarts' New Additions  
  
Written by The Loards  
  
Azelia was getting bored. She and her parents flew for what seemed like hours. Atleast she had something to do. Her father taught her tricks that she learned with amazing speed, and even go bored enough to invent some of her own after a while.

After 10 minutes or so of practice she was able to stand up on my broom and do a little tap dance routine. When Dad saw that, he had to learn it too. There was no way his daughter could beat him at something he had been doing for years.

The first time he tried he didn't even stand up completely before he fell off and Azelia's mother had to catch him with a pillow spell, laughing the whole time.

The second try was doomed from the start because he was laughing so hard. On the third try he tripped on his shoelace and ended up swinging from his knees, up side down.

#I'm doomed. There's no point in trying.# Her mother snorted at this comment.

#I'd say so. Zellie, honey, if you look down, we're flying right over the train.#

#Oh, wow, it's so majestic looking. Next year I want to ride the train, I'll probably have some friends by then. It looks like so much fun.#

****

"Hey, I wonder, did Malfoy lose his antennas yet?" Harry wondered. "How long do the twins spells usually last?

"He should have by now," Ron looked almost disappointed. "Fred and George said it only lasts about 10 min."

"Damn. Well, he's still ugly though." Hermione said, lifting her trunk off the train. The train had just arrived at Hogsmeade, and the trio was heading for the horseless carriages that took them to the school. It was a wonderfully cool night, with a clear sky. When Harry gazed up at the stars he saw three people on broomsticks, also taking advantage of the cloudless night sky.

They followed Hagrid's familiar, warming, voice to the carriages.

"Firs' yers over 'ere!"

"We better go get a seat, before all the good ones are taken over by Slytherin slime." Ron gasped out as they ran over to an empty carriage, and climbed in.

****

Azelia reached Hogsmeade a little after sundown and claimed one of the fancy horseless carriages waiting in a line. She was startled at first by a giant man _ I thought he was literally a giant, or at least a half-blood but Dad said he was Groundskeeper at the school. _ As soon as her family were all in their selected carriage, and had shut the door, it started off without a command from any of them.

Since Azelia was and intern student from Napoleon's School of the Wizarding Arts (with four others, part of the new program for mixing the students from different cultures that my old head mistress and master had started with a few others) where they taught things differently than Hogwarts, she would be in classes with the 5th years, even though they were a year older than her.

When we got to the school, Azelia was taken up to the Headmaster's office where she was to be 'sorted' _ as they called it, I have no clue why _ before the starting-term feast started. _ At Napoleons we were only sorted into two dorms, the boys' were called the Napoleon's and the girls were the Josephine's (since the school was started by Napoleon and his wife). Apparently things are different here. There are four houses, and they aren't restricted by gender. (Note to self: this may be a problem, hehe...) _

All together there were five students transferring from Napoleon's, three girls and two guys. Azelia knew Zoè and Becca vaguely, but they were always together, and were both one-year-older than Azelia. One of the guys, a pretty cute boy named Jason, and the other, Marcel, was the youngest of the group, and would be joining Hogwarts as a third year. There was some rumor going around that Jason and Becca were going out, but anytime anybody mentioned this, or the hinted at it, both would go into a deadly rage...

After stowing her luggage with the rest of the students Azelia and her parents were taken up to the Headmasters office by a tall sever witch who addressed herself at Minerva McGonagall.

The room they waited in was large and round with scarlet carpet. There was a desk at one wall with a shield hanging from the wall above it. It was divided into four sections, and each one had a distinct background color with an animal in it. In the upper-left there was a golden lion, on a red field, the upper-right held a silver serpent with a green background. In the lower-left there was a black badger with a canary yellow background, and the lower right had an eagle flying over a dark blue background. _ These must be the mascots of the four houses _Azelia thought to herself.

The walls were covered with the portraits of old headmasters (presumeably) all snoozing in their frames. And beside the desk stood a golden cage, and inside it was a phoenix.

#Wow. What a bird.# she whispered, almost to herself

#It's a phoenix, and his name is Fawks.# Came a man's slightly English accented voice. Everyone turned and saw a man with a long white beard and half-moon shaped glasses come out of a door that Azelia swore hadn't been there a minuet ago.

#You speak French, Headmaster?# She asked, slightly surprised. The other four students just stood and gaped at their new headmaster.

#Yes, I have been practicing in order of your arrival. And please just call me Professor, 'Headmaster' makes me feel so old!# He said with a chuckle, his eyes sparkling. #Now I suggest you all say goodbye, for we need to get you all sorted, and down to the feast.#

#Well, honey, we need to get back to the house now# Azelia's mother said, as she turned toward her daughter.

#We'll see you at Kings Cross Station when term ends. Write often.#

#We'll miss you so much.#

#I love you Mum, and Dad.# Azelia said, and she felt the first touch of excitement as she watched the door close behind them and the other parents. _ I'm on my own now. YES! _

"Now, if we could continue this conversation in English. I'm afraid my French is a little rusty."

"OK." The five chorused.

"Now, to be sorted. All I need you to do is try on this hat." He held up a patched and frayed old wizard's hat. _Try on that hat? I wonder...Is this some kind of test? _Azelia could see the puzzlement in the eyes of the others too. "Now, who want to go first?"

"I will." Azelia instantly volunteered. If it was anything bad, she might as well get it over with. _ If 11 year olds can do it, so can I! _

She took the hat from him and set it gingerly on her head. It was far too big and slipped down over one eye. Azelia was startled when a voice sounded in her ear.

-_Another Potter, eh? Hm... Where to put you...-_

_-Potter? What? My last name is LeMonde- _The hat didn't seem to hear her. At least Azelia supposed it was the hat that was talking to her.

-_Yes. A brilliant mind, yes, and the Ravenclaws need some fame. But your ancestry is against that, and with the way things are going...-_

_-Excuse me, but what ancestry? How can you know any of my ancestors, they were French!-_ But suddenly Azelia remembered that she was adopted. She wasn't sure who her parents were, much less her ancestors. I wonder if I really am a Potter... Too bad the name is so common I really can't be sure... The hat was continuing it's monologue, still ignoring her.

_-Yes, yes, with what's coming up, you better be in...-_

"GRYFFINDOR!"

Becca yelped in surprise at the loud voice seeming to come from an inanimate object.

"Gryffin-what?" Azelia asked as she took off the strange hat.

"Ahh. Gryffindor. One of our finest houses. Now, who's next?" Marcel volunteered to go next, and Hogwarts had a new Hufflepuff. Jason was voted Slytherine and then Becca and Zoé became the new Ravenclaws. Then Dumbledore handed the hat to Professor McGonagall, who presumably took it down to the feast.

"Now, we must hurry down to the feast where I will introduce you to the other students. Come along."

****

"Golly I'm hungry. I wonder what's taking them so long."

"Ron, your ALWAYS hungry. Look, here they come now. Gosh the first years are small. Were we that small when we were sorted?" Harry asked, astonished.

"Yeah, we've grown a lot since then. But I don't think Ron's brain has grown much."

"Well, at least I wasn't such a bighead!" This was another of their famous arguments, and Harry was in no mood to break it up. He was staring off in space through the whole sorting, and by the time he realized that Dumbledore had just said something important, it was too late. Ron and Hermione were still going strong.

"Will you guys please just SHUT UP!" Both of them just glared at Harry because of this new outburst. "Dumbledore just said something really important, and I couldn't hear him because you two were yelling at each other."

"...We welcome them to our school! And after the School Song, you may eat. Everyone sing to your own tune!" And he waved his wand, and just like every year, the silvery ribbon that flew out of it formed the words.

"_Hogwarts, Hogwarts, Hoggy Warty Hogwarts,_

_Teach us something please,_

_Whether we be old and bald_

_Or young with scabby knees,_

_Ours heads could do with filling_

_With some interesting stuff,_

_For now they're bare and full of air,_

_Dead flies and bits of fluff,_

_So teach us things worth knowing_

_Bring back what we've forgot,_

_Just do your best, we'll do the rest,_

_And learn until our brains all rot."_

"Great, now you guys made me miss it."

"Well I cant help it Miss Bighead Genius O-I'm-So-Smarter-Than-You was making fun of me."

"You forgot bossy, Mr. BigAss."

"Did you hear her, Harry?!"

"I'm neutral."

"Yeah, Harry wont save your butt now, Ron."

"Bitch."

"Bastard."

_ Here they go again. _ And Harry just ignored them in favor of his food. After a few minuets he looked up to take some more potatoes, and straight into a pair of bright green, familiar eyes.

****

Azelia was shy and embarrassed at all the new people around her, which wasn't helped by being the only one at her table who didn't know the words to that ridiculous song. And so she kept her head down while she was eating.

The food was delicious, and she especially loved the potatoes _ Hmmm, maybe I'm Irish? Haha, what a funny thought, though I do have the red hair... _As she reached for more she noticed someone else doing the same. Azelia looked up and felt as though she was looking into a mirror. It was _him._ The black-haired boy from Privit Drive. And he was looking just as startled as she was.

****

The Great Hall was silent almost instantly as everyone turned in their seats to stare at Harry and Azelia. Everyone, that is, except for Ron and Hermione, who were still arguing at the top of their lungs.

"Well at least I don't act like I'm gonna have a cow every time I know the answer to a question in class!!"

Hermione opened her mouth as though she was going to say something, and then stopped. "Ron, do you get the impression we're the only ones talking?" And she looked over at Harry just in time to hear him whisper 'Just like the picture' and fall backwards in a dead faint.

****

**IN THE HOSPITAL WING JUST A FEW MOMENTS LATER, HARRY IS WAKING UP:**

"Ron, I just had the strangest dream. We were at the start-of-term feast, and there was this girl there who looked just like the picture! It was scary!" Ron looked over at his almost incoherent friend.

"Harry, it wasn't a dream."

"Excuse me." Came a light voice with a slight French accent. "But what picture do I look like?"

Harry turned, saw Azelia, and fainted again.

"Well, apparently this is a bit of a shock to him...He is **The** famous Harry Potter, isn't he?" _Wait! Wait! _I thought _His name is Harry **POTTER! **Potter! Could that be what the hat was talking about? Am I somehow related to The Harry Potter?!? It can't be... "Potter" isn't that unusual for a last name...But then why do we look so much alike? But, boy, Harry chooses his friends right, this guy's downright cute! _

"Yeah, he is.... And I'm sorry; I don't know what's bothering him. Do you two know each other from somewhere else?" _ Wow! She is HOTT! I hope this whole thing from Harry isn't because he likes her... _ Ron thought.

"Umm...No." _:Well, we don't really KNOW each other, we've just been watching each other all summer long...best keep that a secret though:_

**TWO MINUETS LATER:**

"Ron, I just had the strangest dream—"

"Harry, IT WASN'T A DREAM!!"

End of Chapter 4: Hogwarts' New Additions

A/N: Yeah, Harry's being a bit ditzy there, well, he's having a rough time, imagine your long dead mother's face coming back to haunt you. La de da.... if you keep on reading (and reviewing) we keep on writing....

Happy Reading!

Zoé and the Loards


	5. The Truth, the Whole Truth, and Nothing

Disclaimer: We own NOTHING except Azelia, the new WWWs, and the plot!

Chapter Five: The Truth, the Whole Truth, and Nothing but the Truth  
  
Written by The Loards 

Harry was lying in bed, unable to sleep, so he was surprised when the hospital lights flicked on and Madame Pomfrey came in grumbling under her breath.

"Patients need rest after a shock! I don't know what he's thinking! Mr. Potter, the Headmaster needs you in his office." _Good. _thought Harry. _I need to talk to him about a few things. _ He got dressed as quickly as he could, and Madame Pomfrey escorted him to the gargoyle.

"Sherbet Balls." She said. "Go on in, he's waiting for you."

Harry climbed us the spiral staircase that was almost becoming familiar to him, and knocked on the big double doors at the top.

"Come in Harry."

"Yes sir."

"Ah, yes, there you are Harry. How was the feast?"

"Well, uh, the food was quite good, as usual."

"But nothing else?" Dumbledor's quiet chuckle filled the empty room, and at its cheerful sound Harry relaxed.

"Now Harry, I know a few things about this new girl, but I want to hear your story first. From the Very Beginning."

So Harry told him _everything_. All about seeing Azelia for the first time. All about watching her all summer. EVERYTHING up to seeing her in the Great Hall. After he was done he watched Dumbledore, waiting for the Headmaster to say something.

When he didn't, Harry brought up a tentative question, "Sir, what do you know about her."

"Harry...As you would have heard if Miss Granger and Mr. Weasley weren't ah... distracting you at the time, five students from Napoleon's School of Wizardry transferred to Hogwarts today, as part of the CNC program which you may have heard of. Azelia LeMonde was one of them... " he paused again. "Harry, I have reason to believe that that young woman is your sister. Now you shall wait here, I will be right back." And with a figurative and literal swirl of robes he was out the door, leaving a dazed and confused Harry behind.

****

Azelia was happy. She was in a new school, learning new things, and she had already made a new friend! She and Ron had talked late into the night before Madame Pomfrey had shooed them out of the hospital wing. Every time he smiled she got a little flutter in her heart, and her cheeks grew warm. At 14 she had 'fallen in love' with enough guys to know what that meant.

She was so engrossed in thought that she almost didn't see the figure standing before her.

"Is everything alright Mlle. LeMonde?" asked the Headmaster.

"Oh, I'm sorry Professor. I didn't see you there. Yes, everything is fine, I was just...thinking."

"Ahh, a worthy pastime. Could I see you in my office for a moment?"

It was as if she had been hit by lightning. All thoughts of Ron whizzed out of her brain and all she could think about was what she might have done wrong. _They don't want me here anymore! I'm causing distress to one of their students, much less THE Harry Potter! They're going to send me home, and I'll never find out who I really am!_ Then she realized Professor Dumbledore was still looking at her.

"C-Certainly, Headmaster."

"Please follow me then." She followed him up staircases, and down others, through passageways and past statues, until they came to stand in front of that same small gargoyle statue she had already seen once that day.

"Sherbet balls." Said Dumbledore, and the gargoyle jumped away to reveal that same moving staircase, spiraling upward.

Dumbledore stepped up onto the first step, and Azelia quickly followed.

At the top was the same pair of double doors she had been through today, she paused, wondering what would happen if she got expelled. _What will mama and papa say? I haven't even been here for half a day yet. This will probably be even worse than when..._But her thoughts were interrupted when her parents came rushing in.

"Honey, what happened? Are you hurt?"

"No, I'm fine, mama. Why are you here?"

"Headmaster," Her father turned to Professor Dumbledore, "What IS this all about?"

"That is a very good question Headmaster. I would like to know what exactly is going on! I want to know why I am here, why are my parents here, and whose picture do I look like and why the HELL do Harry Potter and I look so much alike!?!" All the while Azelia's voice was rising in volume. Her parents just stared at her. Azelia took a deep breath, and realized what she had just said. "I'm sorry, I feel much better now. As you can tell it's been a rather stressful night. What?" The last part was added when she realized her parents were still staring at her.

"HARRY POTTER?!?" they chorused.

"Um...yeah...He's sitting right behind you..." Her flustered parents turned around, trying not to gawk.

"Hi." Harry said, as one eyebrow eloquently raised, and Azelia made a mental note to apologize for their unexpected behavior.

"Well, now that we're all introduced, lets get this whole thing straitened out. M. and Mme. LeMonde, I want you to tell me _everything _you can remember about Azelia's adoption.

And the story began again. At first the two parents were confused and embarrassed as they kept looking back and forth between Harry and Azelia, but eventually they relaxed and the talking became easier for them.

"And here is the necklace." Azelia said, as her parents finished. Azelia slowly unhooked it from around her neck.

****

Harry stared at the strange necklace, a small clear glass ball on a golden string. "May I see it?" he asked.

"Certainly," said Azelia as she handed it to him. When his hands slowly closed around the small glass globe, a rainbow colored mist slowly began to fill it, and Harry's memory suddenly flashed, and old nightmare, but this time, there was a difference.

:::His mother was standing in front of him and clutching a small bundle of blankets. But where as before, he had always focused on his mother's face, now he stared at her arms, and the bundle in them. From out of the folds of the blanket came a small hand, which clutched at a necklace around his mother's neck. Harry had just enough time to realize that the necklace was the same as the one he had seen around Azelia's neck, before the flash of green light blew everything away.:::

And at the same moment, Azelia saw a vision.

_:::She was looking up at a face that could have been her own in 20 years. The mother was clutching a baby in a bundle of blankets to her chest—WAIT—Azelia _was_ the baby, and she was looking up at the face of her mother, or so she guessed. Around her mother's neck was her very own necklace, and as the baby Azelia reached out to grasp it in her tiny hand there came a blinding green flash, and everything went dark:::_

Azelia opened her eyes to see that everyone was staring at the necklace clutched in her and Harry's hands together. It was now glowing with a strange golden light, and giving off a faint heat. Azelia then glanced at Harry, and knew that somehow he was connected with the vision she had just seen.

"It's never done that before, that I know of. Is it important?" Dumbledore only frowned, and didn't answer her question.

"Hmm, well it certainly proves one thing. This may come as a shock," he said, looking at Azelia's parents. "But Harry, Azelia," and Dumbledor's attention was refocused on the two teenagers, "I believe that you two are brother and sister."

Azelia only nodded, she'd known, somehow, that they were related, and it didn't come as much of a surprise to her, nor to Harry, as she looked over at him. Her parents were a different story.

"Our daughter is a Potter?!?"

"Are you sure? How can we really know?"

"But it doesn't make any sense!"

"It was a muggle orphanage..."

"Our daughter is a _Potter_?!?"

"Let me explain it," Dumbledore said, to calm Azelia's parents. "Harry, your mother was pregnant when Voldemort attacked, or so we all thought. However I had had reason to believe, before this, that perhaps she had already given birth to you, Azelia, but I thought that you must have died with your mother. Now this proves that that was not so. That necklace was a graduation gift from me to Lily, as protection from Voldemort, has it ever glowed green, or grown hot in your hand?"

"It grew slightly warm just now, but before that I wouldn't know, I only found out I was adopted this summer."

All through this Azelia's parents had been silent, but now her mother got over her shock, and asked a question.

"So how did we adopt Azelia from a muggle orphanage?"

"It must have been because some muggle heard her cries, and rescued her from the burning house before anyone noticed. I must say it is extremely lucky that you adopted her before some poor unsuspecting muggle did."

"Yes, that makes sense."

"Now, NO ONE MUST KNOW ABOUT THIS. Do you understand me? If Voldemort," and everyone in the room, except Harry, flinched, "If You-Know-Who were to find out that there were two potter children, you would both be in immense danger, more that usual, Harry. I suppose you must tell Mr. Weasley and Miss Granger, you couldn't keep it from them anyway, and a other select individuals," and Harry's mind automatically though of Sirius, "that **_I _**will inform," and he looked straight at Harry. "Now, we all need our sleep, so off to bed. M. and Mme. LeMonde, you may stay for the night if you wish. Harry, we need to finish that conversation we were having before, just for a moment."

Harry was confused.... He thought they _had_ finished their conversation. It was only about Azelia, after all.

"NO, that is quite alright." Azelia's Mother responded.

"I think that is would only attract more attention. Goodnight Honey. I do hope that this is the _last_ time we have to say that tonight." And her father smiled at Azelia.

As soon as Azelia and her family were out of the room, Dumbledor turned to Harry and said, "I know exactly what is on your mind. I agree with most of it, Sirius Black must know about this. However, YOU should not be the person to inform him, it would be too easy to trace Hedwig and this is information that NO ONE, EVER, should find out. Do not worry though, he will know by tonight." And Dumbledor smiled at him, to soften the hard words.

"Yes, Headmaster, I can understand that." Harry said. "Good night!"

"Thank you, and the same to you Harry. Sleep well."

End of Chapter Five: The Truth, the Whole Truth, and Nothing but the Truth

A/N: ok, I FINALLY got this chapter up. We're really sorry, what with school and all, I don't have a life anymore, so I can't usually find time to write. Anyway, Hope you enjoy!

Happy Reading!

the Loards


	6. Drama Galore

Disclaimer: We own NOTHING except Azelia, the new WWWs, and the plot!

Chapter Six: Drama Galore Written by The Loards 

Harry had caught up with Azelia just as she was waving goodbye to her parents.

"When my necklace started to glow, you had the same vision that I did, didn't you?" asked Azelia, knowing that Harry would know what she was talking about.

"Yeah, I suppose I did. She was our mother, you know."

"Yeah, that's what I thought." The both just stood there for a moment, in an awkward silence.

"Hey, lets get back to the common room, I have something I want to show you," says Harry, thinking that for the first time, he would have someone he could talk to about his parents, without them flinching, or pitying him.

****

Hermione couldn't sleep, she just kept thinking about that new girl, and about what was going on with her and Harry.

She was jealous, she realized, and it sucked! She'd never been jealous before, not even last year when Harry had been obsessing over Cho, but something had changed over the summer. She had had a great time over a Viktor's house, but they both knew that it just wasn't quite right, they just didn't have much in common. They were great friends, but they really didn't feel like they could spend their lives together, much less just a summer.

Hermione suspected that it had something to do with a girl he just met while playing quidditch. She apparently loved the sport as much as he did, so they would be a good match.

But now this new girl had arrived at Hogwarts, and it seemed as though she was somehow connected to Harry. It didn't help that whoever she was, she was stunning, and Hermione, was well, just Hermione.

Just then, Hermione heard the portrait door creak open, and two people walk in, talking softly.

_Harry must have come back! _Hermione thought _I'll go down to talk to him now!_ so she stood up and pulled on her robe as she ran softly down the stairs.

She had just reached the bottom and was about to rush into the common room when she saw something that almost broke her heart.

Harry was there all right, and with him was _her, _the new girl. And Hermione really couldn't bet mad at that, she had expected it, but she had walked in just as the two leaned in towards each other and HUGGED!

SO THAT WAS IT, Harry had met this cute little witch over the summer and now they were 'together' and she would never have a chance.

Hermione made a tiny little sob and turned around to head back upstairs when she caught sight of Ron, peeking around the opposite corner with a look of pure depression on his face.

****

Ron was sad, depressed, and a little angry.

_Dammit! How come Harry gets ALL the girls?!? Its just because he's _'The Boy Who Lived' _Just ONCE a girl comes along, who I actually like, and I don't have a chance because he got there first!_

Just then Ron heard a tiny sound, like that of a drowning fish (well, not that he'd actually ever hear a fish drown, but you get the picture) He turned around, just in time to see Hermione, of all people, turn and look at him.

She put a finger to her lips, and motioned for him to follow her...up the girls' staircase...

****

"I don't think this is a very good idea Herm, if I was caught the punishment would be more than just a detention."

Hermione just grimaced. "One: No one's up here and awake to catch you, and I want to talk to you. Two: The only other girl that IS awake probably won be coming up for quite a while." And Hermione couldn't keep the resentment out of her voice.

Ron grinned, in a sad sort of way. "One: you're probably right. Two: You're probably right about that too." Then he stopped, and looked at Hermione curiously, "You like Harry, don't you?..." he asked, an evil glint growing in his eyes.

"NO! Well, no.... NO!! Maybe.....NO! Well, uh, yes, I guess I do, a little." And Hermione sighed, her eyes staring at something far far away. But then she turned back and gave Ron The glare. "But if you EVER tell ANYONE I will personally hex you myself using the Embos Testaculous spell," and she grinned evilly. "I will also inform your two maniac brothers that you have begun reading Muggle romances and writing bad poetry!"

"But that's horrible!! It's not even true! They would NEVER let me live it down!"

"Exactly! Who would ever suspect smart, sweet, innocent little Hermione of ever telling a lie?" and here she smiled angelically. "Besides I hold one more thing against you...you like the new girl don't you? I'll let your brothers know that too."

"I can't help it, she hott, and smart, and kind, and hott, and wonderful, and hott and her accent is soooo sexy, and—"but he stopped when he saw Hermione miming barfing at him. "OK, I'll stop, but she is..."

"Thank God! But I guess I get it." And Hermione suddenly gets this dreamy look on her face.

"Hermione! Snap out of it!" Ron mock yells. "Porn dreams are for _private_ mome—"but he was cut off when Hermione slaped him hard enough to leave a bruise, yet still blushing.

"Ow! Hermione that hurt!"

"Well, you deserved it!" Suddenly the two hear a sound coming from below. "Ron, someone's coming, you better hide!"

"OK, fine! But we'll finish this in the morning. Got it?" Ron looked so pissed off, how could she say no?

"Ok, whatever, just go! You better climb up another flight, since they probably wont go past our door."

"Yeah, sure, bye."

****

Ron hurriedly left the girls' dorm, and headed further up the stairs. He was just in time, for as soon as he turned the corner and got out of sight, not one, but two people came into view.

Ron couldn't help himself; he risked exposure, and poked his head around the corner, just in time to see Harry and Azelia hug right in front of the door to the 5th year girls' dorm.

"I love you. I'm so glad I found you." Ron could barely hear Harry's whisper.

"I love you too, Harry. England might not be as boring as I thought it was going to be." And she giggled. They hugged once more, and Azelia turned and walked into the room.

When the door had clicked shut behind her, Harry gave a contented sigh, and walked back downstairs, presumably to his own bed.

Once Harry had left, Ron sank to the floor with his back to the wall, and he couldn't help the wave of depression that rolled over him.

Dammit! You weren't supposed to hate your best friend because he took the girl you wanted, but Ron did. It was the first time he'd ever been really jealous of Harry, and he felt horrible, but he couldn't deny that at this moment he really hated Harry Potter. _Draco Malfoy is looking all the better now.....O!!! WHAT AM I THINKING!!!! DRACO MALFOY!!!! UUUGGGGGHH!_

After he had waited long enough for Harry to get to sleep, Ron climbed back up to his own dorm, removed the pillows from under his blanked, and crawled into their place.

Even though he had so much to think about, the combination of a long day and a full stomach lulled Ron to sleep within moments.

****

The next morning Harry woke with the feeling a good night's sleep and happy dreams gives you. The night before he and Azelia had stayed up late, talking and looking at the photo album Hagrid had given him. He had come back to bed, looking forward to explaining everything to Ron, but the lumpy form in his friend's bed told Harry that he was asleep.

They would talk later today, though, and Harry would tell his best friend everything.

Harry bombarded Ron as soon as his friend woke up.

"Ron!"

"That's my name..." Ron gave his friend an exasperated look.

"Look. We HAVE to talk today, I have to tell you something about the new girl, she's GREAT! But I can't go into that right here." Ron gave him an odd look, one that Harry didn't quite understand, and wasn't quite sure that he wanted to.

"Yeah...and?" Harry glanced at Ron, he was having an unusually grumpy morning.

"Well, see if you can't get Hermione to meet us at Moaning Myrtle's bathroom after lunch."

"Why can't YOU tell her?" Ron growled at him.

"Bloody hell, Ron, go take a Midol® or two, or GO AHEAD TAKE THE WHOLE BLOODY BOTTLE! If it's too much to ask, I'll go tell her myself!"

"Oh, I'm sorry, Harry. I had a bad night, and I'm not exactly feeling great this morning."

"Its OK, I know how you feel. I'll just ask Hermione at breakfast." Ron felt ashamed for blowing up at his friend. Harry didn't know how much he liked Azelia, and its not like is was his fault girls liked him so much.

****

Hermione made sure to wake up extra early the next morning, to give her time to implement all the plans she had made last night.

She had spent a few weeks with her aunt that summer, who was a total fashion freak. Hermione loved her aunt, and her crazy personality that was so much fun, but on previous visits the hours of shopping and giggling had just gotten on Hermione's nerves. But that summer something had changed, and with every low cut shirt she was about to reject, and every color of eye shadow she decided she _didn't_ want to buy, Harry's face floated in front of her eyes, and she ended up getting it anyway. And somehow all of her short skirts and hair products that her aunt insisted she get ended up in her trunk as she was packing for school.

Now would be the time to use them. Hermione was going fight for Harry this time, and no new foreign girl was going to take Hermione's place.

When they entered the great hall, Ron and Hermione immediately began stuffing their faces with food. Not that this was unusual for Ron, but Hermione usually had the best table manners of anyone.

The moment Azelia arrived and found their table, Ron and Hermione glanced at each other and both stood up, mumbled something about forgetting books in their rooms, and hightailed it out of the Hall, or at least tried to...

"Where are you guys going? And Ron, since when do you need BOOKS?!? This is the new girl I met yesterday. Azelia, these are my bestest friends in the world. This is Hermione and this is Ron."

Before Hermione would have taken being "the best friends in the world" as a good sign, but somehow it just didn't seem as high an honor now that there was another girl so close to Harry.

"Ah, yes, I met Ron yesterday, but I believe you were away then," Azelia said to Hermione. Even though Azelia couldn't take her eyes off of Ron, she would have had to been blind to miss the look of pure venom Hermione was giving her.

_I've just met this girl. _Azelia thought. _How can she hate me already? _But then Azelia realized something she hadn't thought of before..._Oh no! Is she mad 'cause I was staring at Ron so much? Would Harry have told me if they were going out? But why would he? He doesn't know I care...Oh, that's not fair! I only got here yesterday, and the only guy worth having around here is already taken! And by the best friend of my brother, no less!_

"Yes. So nice to meet you." Hermione said. "Well, Ron and I were just leaving, we'll leave you two alone." And she and Ron walked out of the Hall together.

"What was that all about? She didn't seem to be in a very good mood..."

"I don't know. I wonder where she and Ron were off to." But then a horrible thought occurred to Harry. If Ron liked Hermione like _that_, he would have told Harry, wouldn't he? But what if they didn't...were he and Hermione going off to snog right now? Harry felt left out and alone for the first time in a long time. Granted he had a new sister who was still here, but as close as he felt to her, Harry still didn't know anything about this girl, and he had really wanted to share the news with Ron and Hermione.

****

Ron dragged Hermione into the nearest empty classroom, where he promptly burst out into a tirade of complaints.

Hermione tried to calm him down, "I know, Ron, I know. I feel the same way. What do you think we should do about it?"

"I think we should try to break them up! Dammit! Why does every girl have to fall for him?"

"Well, he's hott, and smart, and so brave, and hott, and hott and—"

"Hermione! That was RHETORICAL question! You know, one of those questions that you're NOT supposed to answer!"

Hermione had the grace to blush, "Well...its true! And I'm surprised you know what a rhetorical question IS!"

"We've gone over this before, Herm. OK, now what you have to do is try to get Azelia alone, and find out how much she really likes Harry, or if its just the 'he's a celebrity!' thing going on. I'll work on Harry, but we're supposed to meet him and Azelia in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom after lunch. Supposedly they have to tell us about some big secret..."

"They're probably just getting married at age 15 or something." Hermione said wryly.

Ron groaned. "I think I would die."

"Me too," Hermione smiled sadly. "Well, I'm already late for class, we better get going."

"Hermione, classes don't begin for another 10 min!"

"I know! That's why I'm 15 min. late!"

"Whatever...geeks! All they're good for is doing your homework."

SMACK

End of Chapter Six: Drama Galore

A/N: yeah, that chapter really shows how much we need Oprah! LoL. Anyway, this chapter was written mostly with Shelley's help, and a bunch from Em, the new girl on the block! Anyway, as always REVIEW! And don't just tell us how wonderful we are, give us some suggestions too, I know there are some, because if we were perfect MORE PEOPLE WOULD REVIEW. (hint! Hint!)

Happy Reading!

the Loards


	7. EWWWWW! And those frantic hand motions

Disclaimer: We own NOTHING except Azelia, the new WWWs, and the plot!

  
  
Directions for reading this chapter: Whenever the words "EW! EW! EWWWW!" are seen in this chapter the proper response is to wave your hands frantically in the air as if you were swatting bugs(or fanning yourself).

WARNING: THIS IS AN INTERACTIVE CHAPTER.

  
**Chapter Seven: EW EW EWWWW! And those crazy frantic hand motions**

  
**Written by The Loards**

Hermione and Azelia soon discovered they both shared their love for Ancient Runes, and were placed in a class together, the first class that day. Hermione even stopped sending death glares her way when they began discussing the differences of France and England.

"Have you seen the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher?" Hermione asked.

"Yes! He is soooo..."

"HOTT!" the girls finished in unison, and giggled at each other.

Zoé and her friend Becca sitting at the table in front of the two girls turned around to face them. "I know! I can hardly think in his class when he's staring at me, he sooo totally wants me!"

"WhatEVER Becca, you WISH."

"You've already been there!?" Azelia asked in awe! "I've got his class after lunch."

"Oh, cool, me too!" Hermione added looking at her schedule.

"Yeah, it was great, he's a pretty good teacher. There's this one girl who must be absolutely amazing in his class! She was there already when the rest of the class arrived, talking to him about some gadget or another. I hear she gets straight A's!"

"Girls! Get back to your work!" The stuffy professor gave the girls "The Glare", and all four of them turned back to their work.

After a few minuets of silence, Hermione pops a rather touchy question.

"So, are you and Harry going out?"

Azelia looks confused, then horrified, and then distinctly green.

"EW! EW! EWWWW!!!!" she yelled, while waving her hands franticly in the air, like she was swatting off a bug.

"Girls! Is there a problem that I should know about?" The professor turns back to Hermione and Azelia.

"N-no, Professor Stina. Sorry to disturb the class." Hermione stumbles out.

"Hermione, we need to have a talk." Azelia whispered, trying not to attract the attention of the teacher. "I'm technically not supposed to say anything here but, well, you NEED to know." And her voice lowered until Hermione could barely hear it.

Hermione bent her head closer to listen. "Harry and I have a kind of relationship you wouldn't expect. OH, GOD, not like THAT!" she added, seeing Hermione's face. "Well, actually, we're related. Harry Potter is my brother."

"Ha! That's funny. You know, if you guys really do like each other you don't have to lie about it!"

"No, really, I'm telling the truth!"

"Right..."

"No! I'm serious! That's what our meeting is about after lunch. Harry wanted to tell you both together."

"Us both?"

"Yeah, you and Ron. Hey, about Ron," Azelia said, trying to change the subject, and very interested. "Are you two going out?"

It was Hermione's turn to look green. "EW! EW! EWWWW!!!!" Doing the same motion as Azelia before.

All the students in the class turned to look at the usually quiet Hermione.

"Girls! Please! No more outbursts or I will have to remove points from Gryffindor! Hermione what is wrong with you, you are usually one of my most well behaved students."

"Sorry, Professor. It won't happen again."

"I should hope not." Prof. Stina replied returning to the lesson.

And the two girls bent their minds back to their work, each happy with the knowledge that their new friend wasn't in love with THEIR man. Like the female lions fighting for their strong lion in the wilderness of the great prairies. **L/I: Capri': Sorry I just had to add that**

Ron and Harry were sitting in the stifling divination room, trying to make sense of the "deep, dark, and horrible" visions of the crystal ball.

"Sooooo, Harry, when is your and Azelia's first date?"

"What?!?" confusion almost as thick as the fog in the crystal before them clouded Harry's face. Then, it dawned on him what Ron was talking about. "EW! EW! EWWWW!!!!" ?WHAT is going on with those frantic hand motions?!?! ?

"What do you see? I know it, DEATH! A horrible death." And the psychotic teacher looked straight at Harry.

"Umm, no. It was more like muggle school lunches." shudder

The rest of the class looked confused, while the few muggle born students shuddered.

"Or her breath," mutter Ron.

Harry snorted. "But Ron, WHAT in hell did you mean by that? There is NOTHING going on between me and Azelia." he paused. "Well, there is. But nothing like that."

"Sure Harry. You know what. If you really like her, you can tell me you know. I'm your best friend. You don't have to keep secrets from me."

"No. It's true Ron. There's nothing, except for that one other thing, but well, I really can't tell you about that until later."

"Harry! Are we best friends or not? WHAT IS GOING ON?"

"Well, I guess I can tell you. Professor Dumbledor said I could. Well, here's how it goes. I can't tell you the details now, but this is the gist of it," and Harry lowers his voice to the quietest of whispers. "The new girl, Azelia, well, we're related. I know, I know its hard to believe," he added, seeing the look on Ron's face. "But its true. She's my younger sister."

"But what? How? Huh?!?" Just then the class ended, and the students rushed for the trap door to get out of the stuffy room as quickly as possible.

"I'll tell you the details after lunch in moaning myrtles, but we CANT talk about it to ANYONE! Got it?"

"Yeah, sure, meet you then." Ron mumbled, still in a daze. The two boys separated, promising to meet up again at lunchtime.

End of Chapter Seven: EW EW EWWWW!

A/N: yeah, sorry this chapter is short, but the next one is extra long to make up for it. And you'll love it! Keep some tissues handy, you'll be LAUGHING THAT HARD!!!


	8. The new Teacher's ASSistant

Disclaimer: We own NOTHING except Azelia, the new WWWs, and the plot!  
and, for people who are retarded, WE DO NOT OWN "BEND AND SNAP" DUH!!!!!

Capri: we have to warn them about this chapter, what were we ON when we wrote this chapter?!

Kelly: I don't know, but it sure was working, the word 'ass' was used WAY too much.

Capri: oh, I know! we were watching lord of the rings, ORLANDO BLOOM! THAT explains it.

Special feature!!! Find it at the end of this chapter!!

Chapter Eight: The Teacher's ASSistant Written by The Loards 

Lunchtime was an interesting affair, with the Gryffindors huddled around each other trying to figure out "Who knew what."

Eventually they had decided that there was no point in visiting moaning Myrtle (Harry was especially happy about this) because everyone who needed to know about Harry and Azelia, already knew. Details could wait.

Hermione and Azelia were good friends now, and were particularly giggly about the upcoming Defense Against the Dark Arts class. They were chatting with Zoé, who was sitting at the Ravenclaw table behind them.

They tried to bring Becca into the conversation numerous times, but she was too busy staring at a certain Slytherin. No, not Draco Malfoy, it was another student who had transferred, Jason DeMontepied.

Eventually, lack of information turned the girls onto a new subject.

"Hey, does anyone know when, or if, you people have quidditch tryouts?" Zoé asked.

"Yeah, this afternoon, after the last class of the day."

"Thanks Harry, are you planning on trying out?"

"He doesn't _need_ to try out! He's had his place since the 1st year. He's _bloody_ talented."

"Wow, really?! You must have been really good for them to have broken their own rules for you, granted, you _are_ The Boy Who Lived and all that."

"Well I'm surprised you didn't go all Creevey on me!"

Zoé winked a Azelia "Well, we French witches are more _sensible _than you English."

"Right! You scary half veela freaks!" Ron mutters.

Azelia laughs, and looks at Zoé, "He does know that's a _compliment_, doesn't he?!"

Zoé then catches sight of her friend across the hall. "Hey Brody! Over here 'chum!'" sending Azelia into a fit of laughter.

"What....." all the poor English people at the table are somewhat confused.

Brody sees the waving hand and comes to join the cluster on the Gryffindor side.

"Hey guys."

"Hi Brody! Are you going try out for the quidditch team this afternoon?"

"No, you know pitiful I am. I'm going to the tryouts though, so I can have another glimpse of that hott new coach we have this year."

Harry lights up, "Oh! We have a new coach? Who is he—

Harry was interrupted by Zoé, who obviously knows Brody best, "Or she, you never know with Brody—Ow!" the last was directed at Brody, for the kick that had been delivered along with the death glare.

"So....who is IT then?"

"I don't know, but I'm going to stalk HIM until I find out!"

Becca pipes up, for once knowing the answer to a question... "I think its like Woodchuck or something.... I heard those two guys," and she points to Fred and George Weasley some distance away, "talking to him. Though I'm not sure I heard the name right, it seems rather odd, but you never know with you English people."

"Haha. You've heard nothing yet. My next door neighbors have one of the craziest names I've ever heard." And Azelia smiled at Harry.

"Haha. Oh yes. But still, there's only one person the twins would be calling 'Woodchuck' and that means Oliver's back! And no one told me?! I'm going to have to go knock some heads around. I've got to go talk to the twins." And made his way over to the end of the table where the twins had mountains of food piled onto their plates.

"Wow, he's hott!" Zoé adds, also looking at the twins.

Ron laughs "Which one? They're TWINS!"

Before he got a chance to explain, the bell had rung, signaling the end of lunch.

Hermione and Azelia looked at each other and grinned, and then ran off after Harry. Each grabbing one arm they pull him towards the door.

"Come on Harry! We want to see the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher!"

"Lets get to class early!"

"Come on, DAMMIT!"

Ron looks at Harry and laughs, "Hermione's back, she's wanting to go drool at teachers again! What is it with the Defense Against the Dark Arts ones?"

"Hey! Lockhart was famous, but this guy is HOTT!"

Azelia looked surprised. "Gilderoy Lockhart was a teacher at your school! He's such a PRICK! You actually LIKED him? We had to read one of his books and it was complete _merde_," she looks at Brody, "as you Americans like to say..."

Once they reached the classroom door Hermione noticed that a few 6th year students were already seated.

She turned to the group and asked "Are we in the wrong classroom? Why are there 6th years here?"

Zoé pretends to look offended "What do you have against 6th years, and why DO I have this class?"

"SORRY! I just realized that its kind of odd you know!"

Brody had just appeared, out of breath from running down the hall, and trying to hide the clunk of her boots on the floor. When she heard the question, obviously thinking it her 'duty' as a prefect to inform the public responds, she responded in her specially saved 'haughty' tone, "Since the OWLs were canceled last year because of complications with You-know-who and the Triwizard Tournament, Dumbledor decided that the best thing would be for the 6th years to retake Defense Against the Dark Arts in preparation for the OWLs." She barely got it out before pretending to collapse on the floor.

Hermione looks confused, "But last year we learned so much from Moody...who wasn't really Moody, was he, Harry?"

"And Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn't very fuzzy, wuz he?" Zoé asked.

All the muggle-wizards laughed, while the poor purebreds just looked confused.

Becca asked "Well, why didn't he just get a new fuzzy?"

Hermione lets out an exaggerated sigh, and then looks back at Harry, waiting for an answer. Seeing that he was off...somewhere, in a daydream we DONT want to know about, Hermione turned to Ron. "Ron?" Seeing that he was off in the same dream, Hermione and Azelia, each using their own method, brought the boys back into the present-day world. Hermione nonchalantly elbows Harry, while Azelia, being the more assertive of the pair, gives the perfect bitch-slap to Ron.

"OW! Why does that keep happening to me?"

"Well, I figured I better stop the drool dribbling down your robes."

Zoé turned to Brody and said, "I didn't think that's drool..."

The new, and totally hott Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher entered the classroom from another door. "Hello. I am your new professor, Brett Llewellyn, and this is my assistant and your classmate, Nikki.

Seamus mumbled, saying what every male in the room was thinking, "She puts the 'ass' in assistant..."

Dean added, "I hope she can _ASSist_ me..."

Brody glares over the table at both of them "And if you don't shut up about that slut, I will assist my foot into your ass."

Zoé glanced at her friend "Oooo! Someone is Jealous"

Becca looked over at the '_ass_istant' and had to agree with Brody's _ass_essment. "Omg! Look at her skirt! That must be like illegal or something!"

Zoé laughs and says, "What skirt?!? What skirt, all I see is an inch wide strip of cloth around her waist. You can sooo see her butt!"

Ron looks surprised. "Really? Wow! You can! Is that a leather thong?!" Ron then gloats as Hermione _and_ Azelia both go to kick him under the table, and end up kicking each other. But the smug look on his face motivated ALL the girls at the table to give him a kick, and no one missed, least of all Brody, with those heavy duty, all-purpose, 50 kilo boots.

"No. Its dragon-hide thank you very much! But even leather would be better than the things SOME people wear." Shooting Brody and Hermione evil looks.

Zoé had to put her hand on Brody's shoulder to keep her down, and Hermione gripped her wand so hard the wood began to crack

"Hmm. Where's your homework." All the students begin digging through their bags looking for the essay they were SUPPOESED to write over the summer. Some even had some success cough Hermione cough

"Becca Demeuré, YOU got in _Ravenclaw_? Zoé Orduré, _very_ sloppy. Brody Phylips, you call this an _essay_?" Nikki continued down the line. "Azelia LeMonde, receives glare. Ronald Weasley, could you write any bigger, but I must admit, not too bad." Ron almost faints at the smile he receives, slightly devilish, but _trying_ to be innocent. "Harry Potter... Really? You're cuter in person. Excellent work!" Nikki then sees Hermione's ten-scroll pile. "Hermione Granger. I can tell we are not one who likes to go above and beyond, but I suppose that's ok, if you're only looking for a 5 out of 10."

Then Nikki 'accidentally' drops one of Hermione's scrolls. "Oops." She then languidly bends slowly down giving Ron, and especially Harry, a good view of her ass. The she rose up sticking out her chest, and running her fingers through her long purple hair. "How clumsy of me...."

Nikki got three tables away before Hermione and Zoé said, in unison, "Bend and SNAP!" Brody giggled manically.

Nikki, thinking she had heard a noise turned back, but all faces were solemn, so she turned back to her task.

The class went by quickly. A few giggles, notes passed, or rather thrown, across the room, and stares from both sexes.

Llewellyn stared at his watch. "I guess that's all for today. Class dismissed. Oh, and Hermione, you need to pASS in that group ASSignment you all were working on in clASS today." No one was quite sure why he was stressing those certain syllables. Then he frowned in a disappointing, but almost anticipating, way. "And Nikki, please come here."

After the students had flooded out of the room, Nikki approached the teacher's desk.

"Yes. You wanted me?"

"Today, you dropped one of Hermione's scrolls, you are a bad, bad, girl. And you _must_ be punished for that...."

End of Chapter 8: ASSistants

This is the note that was pASSed from student to student during the Defense Against the Dark Arts class.

RON: Did you see that ASSistant when she bypASSed my desk!

HARRY: I would like to see her behind glASS

BECCA: Why is everyone capitalizing 'ASS'?

AZELIA: just don't ask, lASS.

DEAN: Hey! who pASSed this to _them_. Its supposed to be a guy's note!

ZOE: guys don't pASS notes!

SEAMUS: I don't care, but she has a figure like an hourglASS

HERMIONE: You guys are so crASS.

ZOE: another word for jackASS

BRODY: She looks like a giant landmASS

AZELIA: Even Becca can outclASS her!

DEAN: She's so hott I need my sunglASSes.

BECCA: and I am so JealASS.

ZOE: Becca, if you cant spell, don't try it, Look, the chair is about to break from that mASS.

BRODY: Man you guys are smoking the grASS

RON: Sorry, i slipped off into a daydream, we were on a boat, she caught one major bASS.

HARRY: you mean you caught a mASSive boner, but she has surpASSed all expectations!

AZELIA: Was there bluegrASS playing in the background Ron?

HERMIONE: we should be paying attention to clASS.

ZOE: I can SOOOO see her butt crevASSe.

BRETT: you better not "harASS" my "ASSistant" if you want to "pASS" this "clASS"

RON: who's Brett?

DEAN: umm...I don't know....

HERMIONE: you STUPID RETARTED FREAKS!!!!! THAT WAS OUR "profASSor!!!!!!!!"

BRETT: Hermione, the only one who has enough memory and spelling skills to fill a wineglASS.

BRODY: all the molecules in the room must have amASSed to form that mASSive ASS

NEVILLE: An ASS that I would love to tresspASS on

HARRY: Neville?!?! I didn't know you had such sASS.

RON: I wonder what kind of ASSesment you have to pASS to be a teacher's ASSistant.

BECCA: I like molASSes on my ham

AZELIA: you're as smart as crabgrASS

BECCA: wASS that a compliment?

ZOE: no.

HARRY: she clouds my eyeglASSes

RON: I want to sprinkle some sASSafras on that _bloody_ ASS

HERMIONE: ok! we get it! you all want to see morASS.

BECCA: don't you mean "more ass"?....

BRODY: oook! new subject! Hermione, did you hear that fuzzy wuzzy was a bear?

HERMIONE: yeah! and I also heard that he had no HAIR!

BECCA: **I GET IT!!!!** then he wasn't fuzzy....wASS he? I still think he should buy a new one!!

End Note Here

A/N: Warning this may be a little long...so if you get bored easily and can't read for a long time like me, please scroll to the bottom, not that there will be anything at the bottom except that little ol' review button hint hint

OK, First we would like to think all of our loyal readers (Zoé interrupts: WHAT loyal readers?!?) OK back to the wonderful Brody (Zoé: coughcough sorry about my cold)

WE KNOW IT HAS BEEN A LONG TIME SINCE WE HAVE WRITTEN! sorry :( Forgive us? (Zoé: Who's there to forgive you? Its not like any one is reading this, cause if they were they would tell us how wonderful we are in the reviews (hint hint)....or not....)

Just to let you know it is about 12:00 and we are really tired...we have been thinking of this and future chapters tries to hide laughter (Zoé: I mean, really, imagine a five foot Brody trying to hide a six foot Oliver behind her back!!!) SOOO thanks Zoé for giving things away...we mispeled ALMUST evry wurd that had mor then t2o sylablis (Zoé: you mean over two LETTERS!)

So basically what we are saying is there is some funny shit going down in the next few chapters (Zoé: Brody learns to fly) so stick around, oh yeah there is an extended scene on this chapter (the note passed in class)

Brody wants you all to know that she has just found out that she is an obsessive compulsive and that Zoé will not let her paint, play with dominoes, or type ever again!


	9. Wicked Witch of the North Tower

Disclaimer: We own NOTHING except Azelia, the new WWWs, and the plot!   
Chapter Nine: Wicked Witch of the North Tower Written by The Loards 

"Oh my God! You guys were SO drooling over that teacher's assistant yesterday!" Hermione actually seemed to be jealous...

"You can't talk, I seem to recall a certain Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher in the 2nd year... Harry, help me out here... Something about hearts around the schedule..."

"Yeah... I seem to remember stealing some signed pictures on one of my detentions that someone wanted so very much..." Ron had the grace to look surprised.

"You didn't tell me about that one, but now.... You might remember Hermione..."

"Oh! So that's who one of the pictures of people under your pillow is!" Azelia exclaimed, and then blushed as she realized that this put her new friend in a rather difficult position.

"No, the signed photo of Gildoroy Lockhart is NOT the guy under my pillow. His picture in taped in my diary under the list of 'Complete Fakes.'"

"Oh, that's right! Along with Professor Trelwany." Azelia added, and then cringed when Hermione gaped at her.

Ron however, came to Azelia's rescue. "So Herm, if the picture isn't Lockhart's, who is it? Hmm?"

Hermione blushes furiously. "Oh. Um... Neville!"

Hearing his name, Neville, three seats away, turns to look at the now flushing Hermione.

"Yes?"

"Neville! Don't eat that!" Said Hermione, thinking quickly. "That's one of the new WWW crackers." Neville dropped the cracker, and backed away slowly, then turned and ran.

Azelia, however, was still not off the hook. "So, Azelia, how _did_ you see that picture of H- uh him anyway?"

"Oh, um, well, it fell off your bed lat night," she continues, much quieter. "Along with your diary, that uh, broke when it hit the floor..."

"Really?" Ron contrived to look astonished. "I thought that lock was pretty sturdy. Harry and I spent an entire afternoon trying to pick it," but seeing Hermione's glare, he gave up the attempt at joking. "Just kidding Herm, don't kill me! I'm serious... we didn't really...."

Just then, Becca arrived, saving Harry, Ron, and Azelia from fate worse than death, and she took Neville's empty seat. "Hey guys, what are we talking about?"

Hermione quickly answered. "Oh, just about how delicious breakfast is..."

"I totally agree." She glanced down at Neville's left over plate. "OO! Someone left me a cracker!" Becca picked up the cracker Neville had fled from earlier, and ate it.

POOF! 

Now two Zoé's were sitting at the table.

"What?!"

"Ooooo. It really _was_ a Weasley Wizarding Wheezes cracker!"

"What's a 'Weasley Wizarding Wheezes' and why do they manufacture crackers that turn you into other people?" Azelia asked, completely confused.

"Oh, they're my twin brother's joke-shop idea. They make all kinds of food and candy that have strange magical effects on those who eat them. Never accept anything from either of them, or you might turn into frog or something. Canary Crème was the big one last year."

"But what is this one supposed to do?" Hermione asked. "Just turn you into another random person?"

"Apparently, because of the unforeseen consequences arising from the mastication of this cracker within my mouth, I have transformed into my complete compliment."

"Did I really just hear those words with more than four letters come out of Becca's mouth? Wow. And I didn't even hear the word 'like' once!" Brody looked astonished.

"Well, she did say she had turned into her opposite."

Ron gaped at Zoé, "You mean you _understood_ most of that.?!"

Zoé gave him a withering glance Ooo! I just love that phrase! Sorry, had to add it! "Of course I understood it. I _am_ her complete opposite. I think I'll decide to take that as a compliment."

"I wonder when she'll change back," Harry said.

"In precisely 1.03286734 microseconds. POOF! Like, dude! What did those words _mean_?!"

A few seats away George and Fred were conferring quietly about the effects of their produce.

"We just HAVE to figure out how to make the complement crackers last longer. For a moment, there was one for each of us!!"

Fred stared at his twin, who just happened to be staring at the one remaining Zoé.

Back at the Gryffindor table the students were leaving for their first class of the day.

"Harry, we better get going. We have to get all the way up to Trelwany's tower before class starts."

Azelia, packing books into her bag, looked up. "She is the divination teacher, no?"

"Supposedly." Harry grinned. "Old fake that she is."

"Well I have that class next." and Azelia turned to Ron, and smiled. "You can show me the way!"

"Great!" Ron was just a bit 'enthusiastic...'

Harry and Hermione laugh, as Zoé, Brody, and Becca get up to go to _their_ classes.

"Ok guys, see you later." Brody waves.

"Yeah, thanks for letting us Ravenclaws (not that we can really count Becca as one of us)..." and she grinned "...eat at your table."

"No problem. I better be getting to arithmancy." Hermione added.

"Oh. You don't take divination?" Azelia asked, not used to seeing the trio split up.

"No, thank Merlin. That's the only class I ever disliked more than potions."

"Yes. That was the scariest day of my life," and Ron's eyes went out of focus, as if picturing the scene in his mind. "Watching _Hermione_, of all people walk out of a class. That was right after she slapped Malfoy right across the face..."

"Really? You'll have to tell me about it on the way." And Azelia grabbed Ron's arm, and headed for the doors.

Harry and Hermione looked at each other, and laughed again.

"They would make a cute couple..."

"Even if Ron has no clue what he's doing..."

"Harry?" Hermione's face was worried. "Aren't you even a bit jealous?"

"HERMIIIIIONE!" Harry drew out the 'i' in her name. "She's my SISTER!"

"EW! I didn't mean it like THAT! What I meant was... well... she IS you sister. Shouldn't you two be... I don't know... What _do_ long lost siblings do?"

"Herm, I knew her for one day of my life, and that was when I was one year old! She's as much of a stranger to me as she is to you. And I'm _not_ about to get protective if that's what you mean. Its RON we're talking about. Who could I trust more? Besides you, Hermione." And Harry turned to look at her.

Uh. Oh. Its romance! I can't believe I wrote this!!

God, she loved everything about him: his smile, the way he said her name... "I—"

"You look really nice today, Hermione. Did you, um, do something with your hair over the summer?"

"Oh, um, no not really. Its just—"

"Harry! Hermione! Come on!"

At the doors to the great hall, Azelia smacked Ron lightly. "Ron! You ruined their tender moment!"

Fred, passing by, said "Good job, little bro! Wreak destruction and havoc wherever you go." before he was pulled away by George.

"Come on, Fred! We can't loose sight of her!" Fred just groaned.

"Ron. Take my advice: Never, EVER, fall for a girl."

_Too late. _He thought, glancing sideways at Azelia.

"Sure, whatever Fred. But you better go take care of your love-struck twin before he does something REALLY stupid."

Just then, Harry and Hermione caught up to them. They talked for a moment, and then split up as Harry, Ron, and Azelia headed for the North side of the castle.

When they got there, most of the rest of the class was already waiting at the bottom of the closed trap door.

Azelia already looked confused, "This can't be just it. Where's the class room?"

Harry pointed straight up, just as the ladder descended gracefully in cloud of noxious pink smoke. A soft and "mystical" voice could be heard from above.

"I wish to see the red-haired one... The one with the destiny." The class, a bit confused by hearing prophecies about someone _besides_ Harry, all turned towards Ron.

"What the hell?!" But as Ron's foot touched the first step, the voice came again, sharper this time.

"Not you! The girl!"

Ron, looking embarrassed, but relieved, turned as red as his hair. "Oh."

Everyone was looking around wildly. Neville looked up at the trap door and spoke what they all were thinking, "But none of the girls have red hair..."

Just then Azelia emerged from behind Harry. "She's talking about me... Lighten up everybody. I've heard about this teacher, she's just putting on a show for the new student." And Azelia climbed up into the trap door, lost in a cloud of pink mist.

Everyone below strained his or her ears for any sound from above. A low throaty voice, most unlike Trelwany's usual, made everyone jump. Only Harry recognized the deep voice that signaled a true prediction.

"You. You are the daughter! You are the one who will—" gasp thump 

Azelia's voice wavered only slightly as she spoke through the trap door. "She's fainted, somebody send for the nurse and Headmaster." Lavender and Parvarti gasped and ran off together.

The rest of the class all tried to run up the ladder at once.

"Is she alive?"

"Is she dead?"

"What was she saying?"

"Some made up crap. She'd probably be predicting your death by now."

"I wouldn't be surprised if she was alright, and this is just a trick to make it seem more dramatic."

Harry wasn't willing to contradict them; the rumors they made up might be enough to cover up the hints Trelwany had already spoken.

"Why is she clutching her arm?"

"Here comes Dumbledor!"

A path was instantly cleared for Madame Pomfrey and the Headmaster.

After a quick inspection, and a spell, Mme. Pomfrey announced, "She's had a heart attack, and a bit of a shock. I've got her stable Headmaster, but we'll have to get her to a specialist. I don't do much with shock, it is very difficult to cure with magic, and I don't want to bungle it up."

"Who were the first ones here?" Dumbledor asked, looking around at the students.

"I was in here when it happened." Azelia said, "and Harry Potter and Ronald Weasley were the first up after I called for help."

"Well then, I would like to see the three of you in my office." Dumbledor then descended the ladder with dignity and the figurative swirl of robes.

Below, crowds of older students were gathering for their class. At the sight of Dumbledor, they all stared.

"Headmaster! What--?" Several students stuttered.

"Professor Trelwany is currently indisposed, and all of her classes for today have been canceled. Don't get too ah—disappointed..." and here, several of the students giggled. "We will have a substitute teacher in by tomorrow." Groans were heard throughout the crowd, and one whispered command: _"Becca, stop hanging onto me! Get AWAY FROM ME!"_. Then everyone was silent, until the Headmaster was out of sight down the stairs.

Brody and Zoé grinned at each other, and linking their arms they began to skip around in circles... singing... at the top of their lungs.

"Ding dong the witch is dead! Which old witch? The wicked witch! Ding dong the wicked witch is dead!!!"

Monica, a 6th year Slytherin, looked at the two and then back to her friend Nikki. "What the hell is wrong with them?"

Another student, the Blonde Becca, answered her. "It's from a muggle film. Something about wicked and good witches with crazy names. I don't remember much of it, only that when you dump a bucket of water on a wicked witch they melt."

Jason, another Slytherin, and the one who had been doing the whispering, looked interested. "Really?"

"Yeah, funny how stupid mud- I mean muggle borns can--" but she was cut off as a torrent of water came crashing over her ears. And Jason just _happened_ to be standing over her, with the conjured bucket raised above his head.

Becca just stood there, outraged. "OOOO!! I'LL GET YOU FOR THAT!!!"

To this day, no one knows what kind of spell she was trying to cast, probably she was just making it up as she went. Becca pointed her wand at Jason, and started to speak, just as someone bumped into her.

Out came a cloud of malformed purple butterflies that enveloped the closest students, namely Zoé, Brody, and George Weasley, and of course Becca and Jason. The butterflies ate through any cloth, and left purple bumps whenever they bit into skin.

The butterflies had managed to eat through most of the five's clothing, and had left quite a few itching bites, by the time Zoé managed to dispel them. All five were only left with underwear and bras/boxers and on.

Jason, Brody, Zoé and George all looked at each other in shock, and then at themselves, before running after Becca, who was already halfway down the stairs, anticipating their rage.

The five ran all over the school, down every hallway, and up every staircase, through empty classrooms and hidden passageways.

Brody, after running "head-long" into Oliver Wood, deserted the group. Zoé had a glimpse of flying boots and muffled yelps before she went flying past.

A few minuets lager, George "accidentally" tripped Zoé, and they too landed in a heap.

Jason, beginning to tire, decided to end the chase. He took a flying leap and tackled Becca, landing at the foot of the stairs to the North tower. They had come full circle.

The two began wrestling over Jason's wand (Becca had lost hers somewhere along the way.)

Just then, the remaining portion of the canceled classes reached the bottom of the stairs.

Monica looked at the two forms, one atop the other, both barely clothed, and asked... "Don't you have bedrooms?"

End of Chapter Nine: Wicked Witch of the North Tower


End file.
